Recent Posts

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'Let’s not forget it’s you and me vs. the problem … Not you vs. Me.'
~ Steve Maraboli ~

"We are exposed before each other in marriage.

No one knows your wife's or husband's sin, shame and failures the way you do.

Each of us brings our own set of flaws with us when we marry.

And unfortunately, we add new ones to them as time goes along.

But marriage should be the best place for two imperfect people to find acceptance and ongoing forgiveness...

as well as the courage to change and grow."
~ Dennis Rainey ~
(Marriage Missions International)

#relationships #partnership #marriage #respect #forgiveness
May 25
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A change is at hand ... Proactive Counselling is closing for business permanently.

After much deliberation it comes with a measure of sadness to announce that Proactive Counselling will no longer be offering sessions and will be closed for business as of 31st May 2019.

Professional counselling is sometimes needed to navigate and move through issues and difficult times of life and it has been my privilege over the past eight years to have been invited to work with and speak into the lives of so many clients, who found the courage to share their needs and concerns with me.

I may have been received as a stranger initially, but as rapport was built clients quickly found someone who was patient, modelled good listening skills and had relatable lived experience - a counsellor who respected their individuality and viewpoint, and was professional, entrusted with confidential information.

Sincere thanks to all clients (and Supervisees) for your past business - it was truly a pleasure.

The Proactive Counselling website will be closing down, but an online presence will continue via, albeit with a minor name change to come.

I endeavour to encourage readers to be proactive in achieving healthy and positive outcomes from concerns relating to relationship matters, communication, and grief and loss.

I remain a counsellor at heart and open to new opportunities in the counselling field.
May 22
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Step 2: Advantages & Disadvantages of Change

Choose one ‘change’ that you consider your top priority. List the advantages and disadvantages - the pros & cons - of making and not making this change.

This approach will help you to see what will motivate you to make the change and what is holding you back from changing.

The advantages of doing this ...

The disadvantages of doing this ...

The advantages of NOT doing this ...

The disadvantages of NOT doing this ...

Step 3: Set S.M.A.R.T GOALS
Set goals to help you achieve the desired change/s you have identified.

"Lack of change" offers higher risk than "actual change".
~ Karen Salmonsohn ~
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'Change can be scary, but you know what's scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.'
~ Mandy Hale ~

Identify your priorities for making changes in your life. Use the following questions as a guide to help you in making change more achievable and to evaluate your motivation for change.

Step 1: Identifying your Priorities for Change

The changes I want to make are:

The most important reasons why I want to make these changes are:

The steps I plan to take in changing are:

A person who can help me in achieving these changes is:

Possible ways they can help:

I will know if these changes are taking place when:

Some things that could interfere with these changes are:
May 15
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'One of the truest signs of maturity is the ability to disagree with someone while still remaining respectful.'
~ Dave Willis ~

Marriage Mission International:"When discussing an issue, the most important goal is to make certain your spouse understands that you’re giving his or her viewpoint a careful hearing and that you consider it to be of equal value to yours.


Because taking the other person's feelings and opinions seriously demonstrates that you take him or her seriously.

Your mate in turn feels respected.

You can take communication classes till the cows come home,

but if you truly believe that your idea is the only ‘right’ approach and that you don’t have to listen to your spouse,

the relationship is in serious jeopardy."
~ Terri & Paul Reisser ~

#respect #relationships
#communication #activelistening
May 6
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I Seem To Be Falling Apart - Anonymous

I seem to be falling apart.

My attention span
can be measured in seconds.

My patience in minutes.

I cry at the drop of a hat.

I forget to sign the cheques.
Half of everything in the house is misplaced.

Feelings of anxiety and restlessness
are my constant companions.

Rainy days seem extra dreary.
Sunny days seem an outrage.

Other people's pain and frustration
seem insignificant.

Laughing, happy people seem
out of place in my world.

It has become routine to feel half crazy.

I am normal I am told.

I am grieving.

I am a survivor.

#griefjourney #bereavement #griefandloss
Apr 30